


Just a Little Emotional

by BalloonBalls



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I can't really say there's angst but someone gets mildly upset so, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 06:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16635044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BalloonBalls/pseuds/BalloonBalls
Summary: After everything was over, 9S just needed a little time alone to clear his mind. Unfortunately, 2B wasn't too happy about that.





	Just a Little Emotional

9S had always wondered why emotions were prohibited. They didn't even seem so bad, yet how come something as insignificant as happiness, sadness, or fear get in the way of his functionality? He could never understand why something so small, so minuscule, so unimportant could be so...threatening to the YoRHa units. Emotions weren't even a tangible force that could physically stop an android, it wasn't a bolder or an enemy, so why was it seen as the most difficult obstacle to pass? 

Whenever anyone had told him 'emotions are prohibited' it irritated him, irked him. It made no sense to him, everyone was acting like he had let a machine inside of the Bunker and allowed it to run rampant. If anything, the emotions he felt had the potential to make him work harder toward his goals that were assigned to him. Determination, confidence, bravery, they allowed him to push forward. So why should something like that be banned? It made no sense, but then again, neither did his existence.

_Don't think like that. Don't think like that. Don't think like that. Don't think-_

9S wished he could hold onto those naive questions, wanted to be that naive again. He wished he could still wonder why such things were so terrible; at that time he he had only experienced the weaker, less important ones. Now, he understood. Hurt, rage, fear, confusion, all of these emotions had taken hold of him as if they were an animal biting into its prey and never letting go until it was gone. These emotions had caused 9S tot lose himself, making him commit heinous acts that not even he could explain to anyone, or himself, what his motives were. He knew that his actions were ridiculous, but he could not stop himself. 

He had felt too much to stop himself. 

Could he say he regretted his actions? Maybe. 9S knew that he was fueled with so much anger and hatred at the time that there would have been no stopping him, no matter how much he had tried to reason with himself. Still though, what made him feel so hostile in the first place? It was irrational, he knew, yet there was no stopping him. Maybe the reason why emotions were prohibited were not because of their strength, but because of their unpredictability. Emotional manipulation could be an extremely effective weapon, but there was no way one wouldn't feel anything themselves. 

Still though, what has happened has happened, and there was nothing he could possibly do to change that. The world has essentially ended, and everyone has either died or started their own lives. There was nothing worth fighting for, no ultimate goal to work towards. The only thing left was...this. There was nothing stopping anyone from doing whatever they damn well pleased, and 9S had decided to let himself go and do everything he was prohibited from doing. 

There was a cost though. The price of letting himself be free was that he needed to suffer through something that would push him over the edge. 2B had pushed him over the edge, or rather, her passing did. Because of that, he finally allowed himself to do whatever he wanted and exact all the revenge he had in store for A2. But...it's over now. Everything is over now. All the hate is gone, all the sadness has turned into nothingness, so what was there left to do? 

 When 9S had awoken, he was lying on the roof of a building next to a woman he recognized and knew her as 2B. 

_2E_

_2B_

_Was there much of a difference between the two?_

_9S was unsure._

However, it has been a long while since they had awoken together, thanks to the useful assistance from Pod 042 and Pod 153. Ever since they had practically brought them back to life, 9S decided to take life easy now. Sure, there was nothing left for him to do, but that doesn't mean he couldn't make something that would intrigue him. After all, his mind was a mystery to himself that desperately needed to be solved.

So that is what 9S decided to do. He set out on a journey all of his own to walk the woods, the buildings, the desert, the amusement park, anywhere he could set foot on he would go. A journey of self discovery one could say. After all, with all this free time on his hands, this would be the perfect time to do it. He had hoped that maybe all this time spent alone, he'd be forced to confront everything he's ever run from and actually start to figure out who he really was. Besides, he's never been able to explore this desolate, beautiful planet at his own pace.

9S had never realized how peaceful the earth itself was, and not corrupted by rampaging wars, aliens, machines, androids, or humans. The world didn't have to turn out this way, yet it did. Why? What caused such a peaceful place with nice smelling flowers and friendly animals to become a battle field for man-made creatures to fight as if it were an coliseum? It didn't make sense, and maybe it was a little cruel. Still, the earth did return back to its peaceful roots eventually after all of the murder and bloodshed. 9S couldn't be more grateful for that. 

His journey wasn't very long, a few days at the most. He just wanted to be alone to sort his feelings out. He didn't want a Pod or even 2B to tag along, he just wanted to roam the earth by himself and see it in its truly peaceful state. He wanted to see himself in a truly peaceful state. When he had woken up, his emotions were so wildly out of control that he just needed some time to sort everything out. 9S didn't want to lash out on anyone again, or hurt anyone, which had recently been prone to doing. 2B must not have been particularly happy about him setting off like that, but she wasn't going to stop him either. After all, he didn't exactly tell her either.

However, his journey did not feel as fulfilling as he expected it to be. He was...distracted, his mind was consumed by thoughts about 2B. 'I wonder how 2B is doing' 'Is 2B adjusting to peace well?' 'Is she upset with me for setting off like this right when she woke up?' 'What am I supposed to say to her when I come back?' 'Am I supposed to tell her everything that went wrong while she was...gone?' 'Has someone told her already about what I had done? Who I have become?' 

9S knew that he couldn't make the most out of this expedition when his mind was so busy thinking about 2B and not himself or the scenery he was supposed to be appreciating. So, to rest his mind completely, he traveled back to the 'resistance camp' to meet up with 2B and check on her. However, when he had returned back to the campsite, there didn't seem to be a single soul around. 

9S searched around the bare camp, baffled by the strange lack of life. Everything seemed normal, everyone's supplies were right where they left them. Hell, even the merchants' items were still laying around on their little blankets, just waiting to be stolen away. Wait, who left the jukebox on? He walked around the entire resistance camp, looking in every nook and cranny but no one was there. It was...unsettling.

"Hello?" 9S called out, cupping his hands over his mouth. Of course, there was no reply, how surprising. "Is anyone here?" 9S asked again, but there was no response just like last time. Had something happened while he was gone? Was everyone okay? Was 2B okay? Were they attacked by something? No, what would attack them? None of this had made sense. 9S had nobody to ask, nobody to rely on for assistance. It was just him, and he alone had to search for the members of the resistance. 

So he did. He turned around and went out to look for any sign of android life on this planet. They couldn't have gone far, right? They wouldn't just up and leave, all of their supplies is there. They'd have to come back for it eventually...right? Are they...okay? They've got to be, right? There's no reason why everyone in the group would just disappear, they were like family to one another. They wouldn't one of their family member behind, right? It's not like 9S had been gone for decades, it was just a few days! So where did everybody go? 

9S looked up, observing all of the tall, abandoned buildings that surrounded the overgrown greenery. Well, that was as good of a place to start as any, right? 9S made his way over to the massive amount of buildings, choosing the tallest one to enter into first. Maybe if he could get to the roof of the building, he could look to the ground and see if he could spot anyone. When he stepped in, he was quickly overwhelmed by the smell of dirt and mold. He never realized that plants could grow even in a building like this without much sun or water, guess plants are persistent little things aren't they? Then again, the same could be said about the androids. 

"Hello?! Is anyone here?! 2B?!" 9S shouted, his voice echoing against the hallow walls. At first there was silence, but then he heard something faint. "...S!" A female, robotic voice called out to him. That voice, it was coming from above. That was fast, and convenient. So, 9S headed for the stairs to try and reach this unknown creature's location. "9...S! 9S!" The robotic voice got louder and louder as he climbed up the steps, stopping once he got to the fourth and final floor. 

He peered out from the wall that separated the stairs and the room to see a Pod floating right on the other side of that wall. "Pod," 9S stated, finally coming out and stood right in front of the floating Pod. For some reason, he felt relieved to see the Pod. It was just a robotic assistance, but it was with him for all of his life. Without it, he just felt...lost, maybe. "9S, your sudden vanishing has worried those apart of the resistance camp. Where did you go?" Pod 153 questioned, the voice as emotionless as usual. Maybe it was just 9S, but that monotone voice did not fit with the Pod. Ever since the war was over, the Pods even let go of their emotional prohibitions. It was strange, yes, but he kind of enjoyed watching them grow a conscience. 

"I wanted to take some time to myself, I heard that can help with...things. Where is everyone at the resistance camp?" 

"The members of the resistance camp are currently on a search mission looking for you."

"A search mission? To look for me?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"Your sudden disappearance caused a panic in the group so they formed search parties to look for you."

"Is that why everything looks normal at the site?" 

"Yes."

"Where is 2B?" 

"Unknown." 

"Does she have her Pod with her?" 

"Yes." 

"Call her." 

"Affirmative." 

The Pod rang for a few seconds, and 9S was getting antsier by the second.

_What if she doesn't pick up?_

This place somewhat resembled a man made cave, bleak and dirty. Yet, the sun did shine through broken windows to lighten up the building, causing it to feel serine and calming. Because of the sunlight, the dust particles in the air were visible to the naked eye as they floated around. 9S had to distract himself somehow, so he decided to start swiftly moving his hands through the air to make the dust move around in the air. 

"9S?" 2B called out, speaking with a little more enthusiasm than 9S was used to. 

 _Ah, 2B, she sounds worried. ..._   _I wonder, did you feel agony when I was gone? Worry? Did you feel the way I felt when you were murdered? Did you ache? Or am I the only one who did?_

_What way do I want you to feel?_

_2E?_

"2B? Where are you?" 9S questioned, his voice just a little too eager. He felt some sort of a swelling feeling inside of his chest whenever he would hear her voice, especially ever since she was revitalized. He wasn't sure if it was nervousness, or maybe it was relief. It didn't make sense to him, no one else made him feel this way so...why her? No matter how hard he tried, it felt like he would never be able to wrap his head around it. Maybe he was never meant to. Still, it irked him somewhat. 

"I was heading back to the resistance camp, where are you? Where have you been?" 

"I'm heading back to the resistance camp too, I'll meet up with you there. When I get back, I'll explain everything." 

"...Alright."

With that, the Pods hung up the call. "C'mon Pod, let's head back," 9S ordered quickly, and the Pod complied, following right behind him as it always has. The walk didn't take too long to get back to the resistance camp, after all he didn't have to walk very far in order to get to the building so logically he didn't have a very long walk back. Still though, he found himself walking a little faster than he usually does on his way back to the camp. Funny. 

_2B_

_2E_

_I'll see you again._

_How lucky am I?_

_I never thought I would._

Once he made it to the camp, the only android that was there was 2B along side her own Pod. She was seated on a merchant's blanket but she looked...a little panicked. Why did she look like that? Why was she breathing so heavy? Did she run here? Was she concerned? Worried? 9S couldn't help but worry about what she had done while he was gone. She looked up, making direct eye contact with 9S. That made him feel a bit...nervous.

"9S. You're safe," 2B smiled, her eyes sparkling as she slowly rose to her feet. 9S had a bit of difficulty getting used to seeing her without her visor covering up her light eyes. That is mainly because those eyes of hers are so beautiful, more beautiful than any other sight he saw on his nature walk. It's a shame they always had be covered. It makes sense why everyone had to cover their eyes though, they displayed everyone's vast array of emotions. Maybe the eyes are the most expressive part of the body. Maybe that's what makes them so beautiful. Maybe.

"Yeah, sorry I left. I just wanted to get some fresh air, ya'know? I mean, we are newborns again so I kind of wanted to see what this new earth was like. I guess I just got curious. It's not the best explanation but..." 9S trailed off sheepishly. 2B just sighed a little to herself in relief before raising her hand and gently placing it on his cheek. She left her fingers rub against his skin softly, lightly, and it made 9S blush just a little.  _Why isn't she reprimanding me? Isn't she mad?_

"It's okay, I'm just glad you're safe. Nobody knew what had happened to you so we thought that we had lost you. Eventually everyone decided to look for you, but no one could find you. They should be back by sundown though, so you can explain yourself to them when they get back," 2B recounted, slowly bringing her hand down from his cheek and back at her own side.

_No. I want more. Touch me. Please, touch me more. Let me know you're real. Let me know that you're alive and here and I'm not hallucinating. Touch me. Please. Don't go. 2B. 2E?_

"Don't worry, I don't think there's anything actively trying to kill us on this planet anymore. Or at least, not that I could see,

"but

"why don't you call the pods of the surviving YoRHa units that are apart of the resistance and let them know that I made it back?"

"...Because, I want to be alone with you for a little while."

_What?_

_I don't understand. I feel something inside me that's on the verge of exploding. What is this? What am I trying so hard to control? Why do I feel the need to control it? I don't understand. 2B, why are you doing this to me? What are you doing to me? 2B? 2E? I don't understand. I don't understand._

_I don't know if I want to understand._

_Would the answer be too cruel?_

"Why?" 9S questioned, but 2B just stayed quiet.

"It may be irrational of me but please don't go anywhere without telling someone. I...was worried about you. Even though I...shouldn't be," 2B mumbled, her face flushing a light pink. That's a sight that 9S never thought he'd ever see, an embarrassed 2B. Still, now that he's seen it, he wants to preserve it forever. It was such a beautiful sight, so pure and untainted. 9S' chest was starting to ache, and the acids in his stomach were sloshing all around. He felt...awful right now, but at the same time, oddly excited. 

"...Yeah, I will," 9S complied, his voice squeaky. Why did he sound like that? There was no reason for him to sound so...broken, or defenseless. Yet here he was, sounding like he broke his vocal box. What was the point of him saying it like that? Why did he do that? 9S didn't know. It was a bit...embarrassing if he had to admit. Not just embarrassing, but strange as well. After all, that has never happened before. Is it a glitch? Is it something that he can control? 

2B smiled a little more before stepping closer to him and wrapping her arms around him. 9S wasn't terribly startled by this, unlike the first time she did it. Ever since the war was over, 2B had become a lot more affectionate. It felt as if a weight may have been lifted from her shoulders, or maybe she just wasn't afraid anymore. Still, when she held him the first time once they both woke up, neither of them knew what was going or what they were doing. They just had never been free, and wanted to do what came naturally to them rather than hiding what they wanted or felt. 

9S wrapped his arms around her as well, placing his forehead gently against her lower shoulder. This always feels so...nice. Every time they do this, 9S always get this warm, calming feeling. It's like it this embrace lulled him to sleep, but something jumping inside of his chest would never let him fall asleep in a time like this. Why did this feel so nice to him anyway? It doesn't make sense, it's just two androids pressing their bodies against the other's. So why is it so comforting? So soothing? It didn't make any sense at all. 

However, just because it doesn't make sense doesn't mean he wants it to stop. 

_Please, don't stop. When you do this, I know you're real and you're here. I love this feeling, I love it, I love it, I crave it, I need it. I feel it. I crave it. I crave you, your touch. I need you, I need you, I need you. I need you, 2B. 2E._

_No_

_Just 2B._

_Do you need me too?_

"What were these days like...without me?" 9S slipped, his voice barely audible against her shoulder. He knew not to ask a question like this, but he just couldn't help himself. He was curious, that's how he was built to be. It was a terrible question to ask, a selfish and terrible question. Still he just had to know. He wanted to know if he was the only one who really felt something right now, or at all. He wanted to know if 2B felt the same when he saw her- 

"...Terrifying," 2B muttered, almost sheepishly. He knew that she was not used to expressing herself and that she was a bit awkward about it, but he didn't care. 2B doesn't like to be without him, just like how he is with her. He's not the only one, thankfully. 9S couldn't help but be grateful for that. He squeezed her just a little bit, and she raised her arm slowly up his back to rest her hand against the back of white hair. It sent shivers down his spine, good shivers. 

"...It won't happen again." 

"Good."

They broke apart from each other slowly, but still held onto each others' arms. 2B stroked his arm gently, slowly, up and down, up and down. "Next time you go, take me with you. I want to see it too, and, I'd like to spend some time relaxing with you," 2B admitted, and 9S couldn't help but smile. For some reason he just kept getting happier and happier. She smiled back at him, smiling this small, wholesome that fit her face so well. 

"I will."

Emotions, what a funny thing.


End file.
